Though I have to confess, though, I misread the headline as "From the Tobacco-Stained Trenches of Motherhood" and was really way, way too excited about that.
Kept scanning and re-scanning the piece for the tobacco confessional bit.
Finding joy in life is so much more important than we're led to believe!
Sometimes I see it as the importance of mothering yourself.
Like how for many of us, as we grew up, our mothers planned our birthday parties and took us to parks, and planned play dates, etc.
Then we grow up and suddenly no one's planning your life for you. And it can be hard to realize that celebrating yourself is now your job. And that it's an important job.
It can be hard, but it's important and it's worth it.
It's going to be my 40th birthday later this year and I'm really afraid I'm going to forget to plan anything until it's too late. I really hope I make something fun happen.
crayons!...crayons will be put me to sleep said the zombie to her child ha... and when you rouse from this lethargy the art is bound to flow grim and adorable is a winning combo perhaps ....hmmmmmmmm
I just googled, "disassociation" because I always thought that was when you hover over your body, but I learned something from you today, Janice!
Apparently there is "disassociation" and then there's "dissociation"?!
You're totally right, I am struggling with disassociation.
Wow, only a difference of 2 letters. Confusing, but elucidating!
Ironically I studied psych in college and I do not know these things. If I had stayed in academy I would love to study disassociation because I'm afraid too many of us are struggling with this right now and I wish I knew how to help.
I totally agree, John. It really does feel like I've let this way of "living" go on too long and I'm starting to feel very... pre-depressed? Listless? Ennui? Why do I keep writing synonyms?
You're right now. I'm focusing on making social plans for myself TODAY!
I finished my last semester of college using the "parallel play" tactic - it was sometimes difficult because my then toddler son would resort to sitting on my textbook when he wanted extra attention. They do grow up eventually...
It's a life of constant change. I'm always needing to reconfigure my life to match my needs and duties (currently caring for my elderly fil - it makes baby care look like duck soup!). Another blessing: Constant grit for your creative processes! Plus grownup kids can be great friends! 🥰
Your panel about how when you don’t make art you don’t feel like a person reminded me of Nightbitch, which I’m finally reading! Have you read it? Also, can’t choose between the four reactive states because I do all of them, but prooooobably fawn and freeze the most. Especially going into freeze a lot the past five years. Maybe I’ll pick up some goddamn crayons.
Hi Susan! I haven't read the book, but I did watch the movie recently (by my mother's request who also thought the character reminded her of my state in life right now, haha).
I definitely also dabble in the other stress responses too, but Freeze is MY GAL!
Crayons were surprisngly joyful, but I also just visited an art store recently and played with their oil pastel sticks and they felt like an adult crayon in a lot of ways.
... I really wanted to buyyyy themmmm... maybe someday!
Great piece.
Though I have to confess, though, I misread the headline as "From the Tobacco-Stained Trenches of Motherhood" and was really way, way too excited about that.
Kept scanning and re-scanning the piece for the tobacco confessional bit.
oh well...
HAHA, that would be a much darker tale!
Granted, I also want to read that story. I love a moody, smoker protagonist.
"As I write these words my fat stogie relinquishes it's final puff. I tap the last of the ash upon my infant's fontanelle."
Wow. What a hook. Who wants this, Random House? New Yorker?
so I guess I'm making a request?
I will begin my tobacco addiction today!
So timely - I just published a piece about “finding fun” as life has get too serious and heavy lately…
Finding joy in life is so much more important than we're led to believe!
Sometimes I see it as the importance of mothering yourself.
Like how for many of us, as we grew up, our mothers planned our birthday parties and took us to parks, and planned play dates, etc.
Then we grow up and suddenly no one's planning your life for you. And it can be hard to realize that celebrating yourself is now your job. And that it's an important job.
It can be hard, but it's important and it's worth it.
It's going to be my 40th birthday later this year and I'm really afraid I'm going to forget to plan anything until it's too late. I really hope I make something fun happen.
crayons!...crayons will be put me to sleep said the zombie to her child ha... and when you rouse from this lethargy the art is bound to flow grim and adorable is a winning combo perhaps ....hmmmmmmmm
hahaha grim and adorable, i like that! if the art flows i'm happy!!!
my favorite art expresses many opposing feelings, so, i like this thought. :)
Freeze for sure when overwhelmed it's called disassociation
I just googled, "disassociation" because I always thought that was when you hover over your body, but I learned something from you today, Janice!
Apparently there is "disassociation" and then there's "dissociation"?!
You're totally right, I am struggling with disassociation.
Wow, only a difference of 2 letters. Confusing, but elucidating!
Ironically I studied psych in college and I do not know these things. If I had stayed in academy I would love to study disassociation because I'm afraid too many of us are struggling with this right now and I wish I knew how to help.
Farts being funny is an eternal truth.
And please do something proactive. In my experience, when we only let life happen to us, things get bad.
I totally agree, John. It really does feel like I've let this way of "living" go on too long and I'm starting to feel very... pre-depressed? Listless? Ennui? Why do I keep writing synonyms?
You're right now. I'm focusing on making social plans for myself TODAY!
"You're right now" is a very interesting choice of words. Talkin to yourself too?
lol, i think i meant to write, "you're right though". i'm a typo beast today. :,)
Your parallel play plot is a good idea...
It's honestly been somewhat effective.
The only downside is I still have to succumb to not having any time to myself.
But hey... she just wants me down on the floor with her.
It can be nice too.
I finished my last semester of college using the "parallel play" tactic - it was sometimes difficult because my then toddler son would resort to sitting on my textbook when he wanted extra attention. They do grow up eventually...
Them growing up feels like such a confusing double-edged sword!
I both want it (more me time!) and also don't (but they're so cute now and I'll never get that back!)
I guess that's the nature of living-- lots of ambivalent emotions.
A blessing and a curse.
It's a life of constant change. I'm always needing to reconfigure my life to match my needs and duties (currently caring for my elderly fil - it makes baby care look like duck soup!). Another blessing: Constant grit for your creative processes! Plus grownup kids can be great friends! 🥰
aw, "grown up kids can be great friends". Thanks for saying that, that's a really sweet idea and something to look forward to. <3
sorry about your fil. elder care is likely in my future as well. wish there was more support out there. :(
Your panel about how when you don’t make art you don’t feel like a person reminded me of Nightbitch, which I’m finally reading! Have you read it? Also, can’t choose between the four reactive states because I do all of them, but prooooobably fawn and freeze the most. Especially going into freeze a lot the past five years. Maybe I’ll pick up some goddamn crayons.
Hi Susan! I haven't read the book, but I did watch the movie recently (by my mother's request who also thought the character reminded her of my state in life right now, haha).
I definitely also dabble in the other stress responses too, but Freeze is MY GAL!
Crayons were surprisngly joyful, but I also just visited an art store recently and played with their oil pastel sticks and they felt like an adult crayon in a lot of ways.
... I really wanted to buyyyy themmmm... maybe someday!