Surprise Post - I Have Covid

Be My Friend

So I decided to post every other week because I don’t have the time to post weekly— But, hey! I got Covid and am now bored and have nothing to do.

So let’s see, what have I been up to since catching Covid?

Well, my most recent Google search is: “do leafblowers even do anything?”

I really have it out for leaf blowers at the moment. There’s a cabal of them in my neighborhood and I just cannot wrap my head around their purpose. There are like two leaves here in the first place. This is southern California — we are all palm trees and concrete. I watch these men blow invisible debris for hours.

“Am I trapped in a Kafka novel?” I ask, glaring menacingly from between the blinds.

“No. Clearly, more Hitchcock”, I grumble into my sleepytime tea.

Covid has proven my chrysalis as I slowly metamorph from “angsty youth” into “curmudgeonly old woman”. It’s beautiful really. I’ve never felt so one with nature. I was 34 when Covid first struck our world and today I am 85.

My phone just alerted me that I was going to go to a Comics Pop-Up in L.A. today, but because of Covid, I have to fantasize about yelling at men with leaf blowers instead. Feels like a fair trade.

Is this really boring to read? I honestly really want feedback. I feel like this cult I’m trying to build isn’t really blossoming the way I would like. Don’t worry, I don’t blame you. I blame myself. I really need to study more cult leaders like Jared Leto.

It seems a common strategy is to look like white Jesus. I could do that. I’m white, I have light brown hair. I can lift my hands up to the sky like I’m channeling a higher power. I do it all the time when I curse the leaf blowers. I think the real power comes when you believe your own bullshit though and I sadly have too much self-doubt for that.

You see this is the real crisis of internalized misogyny. You can’t even lead a group of followers into psychosis with you.

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Listening to: