Art is Survival
I am not feeling great today. I just want to stare at the ocean and let the ennui wash over me.
Despite feeling low, I understand that the urge to stare out into the ocean is actually a healthy compulsion. When we are drawn to idleness, our brains are begging for the space to process something.
So I ended up writing down my feelings, which I thought I’d share.
Being an Artist is Embarrassing
At the beginning of the pandemic I really struggled with being an artist. My skills felt so pointless when human suffering felt so ubiquitous.
Meanwhile, I was consuming more art than ever and not even realizing it. I was persevering through the art and stories of others. Music helped me to cry, reflect, to feel hope again. Books, television, and film showed me new perspectives. Stand-up comedy helped me to laugh when I needed the release more than ever.
Part of the reason we get told that art is “gratuitous” or “unnecessary”, is because it doesn’t often doesn’t fit into capitalism— unless it is made specifically to fit a market.
Art that exists outside of capitalism is a threat to the status quo, which is a threat to the powers-that-be.
Art is a means to process your experiences and the world around you. It is a form of learning, understanding, growing, and finding our authentic selves. The more you know yourself, the harder it is for others to manipulate you: Think governments, corporations, or bullies in general.
“I know now that most people are so closely concerned with themselves that they are not aware of their own individuality, I can see myself, and it has helped me to say what I want to say in paint.” - Georgia O’Keeffe
Making art shouldn’t be limited to career aspirations.
Making art is survival and we are all artists.
The best art exposes us and is deeply vulnerable. That is why making art can feel so embarrassing. Most of us are terrified of being told our truest selves are shameful or bad. But it is freeing to see yourself, to know yourself, and to boldly open your heart to the world.
Even writing this feels embarrassing to me, but I want to push myself out of hiding. To express myself and to reach past the shame that’s been imbedded into me from my earliest memories. I hope you feel the same.
(Please enjoy this GIF I made, early pandemic, when I was feeling particularly lost.)